<aside> “Most who read it found it interesting - some who read it refused to set it aside. They began to live by it as best they could, and when their loved ones died, a believer would arise beside the grave to be the Speaker for the Dead, and say what the dead one would have said, but with full candor, hiding no faults and pretending no virtues. Those who came to such services sometimes found them painful and disturbing, but there were many who decided that their life was worthwhile enough, despite their errors, that when they died a Speaker should tell the truth for them.” - Orson Scott Card, from Ender’s Game
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When I was in 7th grade, I read Ender’s Game for English Class. The quote at the top of this page has stuck with me ever since - what if there was a cultural movement to tell other’s stories? How can we do honor to someone, and also help them live on through memory? Despite sharing this idea with many, no one has seemed as invested in the idea as I am.
My reason for living is to “know and be known”. I desperately want to connect with others, to learn all of their shadows and lights, their pain and their pleasure, and all of the boring minutiae that makes up the Everyday of those I care about. I feel that I’m very good at knowing - and very bad at being known.
This blog is my attempt at the latter. The posts will be tagged in accordance with theme so that it will be easy to sort through. In practice, this will be a dumping ground for as much of my life as I can fit in it - not published in any particular order. The harsh reality of the situation is that I am terrified of being forgotten or misunderstood - to the point that I am willing to share everything, even with strangers.
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To be clear: this is not a suicide note, nor am I "closing the book" on my life. Rather, this is my attempt to reclaim my remaining days by sharing what has long gone untold.
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In the pursuit of anonymity and privacy for those who have been in my life, names will be changed. My memory, like that of every human being, is flawed, and malleable. I will be as truthful as possible in these posts while also recognizing that my truth does not necessarily mean The Truth. For those who have read this far, thank you. For those who read on, thank you. And for those that this may inspire to be their own Speaker - thank you the most, and good luck.
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